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Divination, Divinatory esoteric and occult tarot, Kabbalah & Western Hermetic Tradition, LGBT, Osho Zen Tarot, PC, Qabala, Tarot, Tarot reader, Thoth, Unicorns, Wikipedia, Zen, Zen Master
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Nothing new under the sun – we know them all…
VANILLA LATTE – the deck of choice usually features Unicorns, Mermaids or other equally realistic figures; the readings match the deck – fairy tales from an overactive imagination and very little actual reading skills; good for bedtime story telling – zero practical use.
AFFOGATO STYLE (PSEUDO QABALIST ) – deck of choice is usually Thoth, intro to the reading sounds like cursing in a dead language…Yesod of Aziluth, Daath of Beriah… Then they start climbing up your nerves instead the actual Tree of Life with more and more foggy correlations which mean very little to them personally and even less so to you as a sitter. Oh, please. Actual understanding of Kabbalah or any of its varieties is usually close to non-existant and the use of such readings as well.
CHAI TEA LATTE can’t actually read – they might go by ‘psychic Tarot reader’, ‘intuitive Tarot reader’ etc. without knowing Tarot as a system, they’ll read Tarot or whatever handy – as an oracle; unless you seriously suspect them to be a hidden Zen Master, that can be quite dangerous if they are in bad mood, tell you BS and activate your self-fulfilling-prophecies mechanism ; so, unless you are an experienced sitter with years of readings under your belt, unless you can tell the real psychic from a fraud at first glance/card – keep your distance.
ICED TEA / the “harsh truth ” reader – be aware of the bully in disguise; they come in all shapes, are usually very assertive and make you feel week and vulnerable… they use scare tactics, are probably cold-reading you and aim to either dis-empower you as a psychopath would (just for the sake of it) or to con you for money … or both. Send them where they belong – back to Hell.
BLENDED FRUIT BEVERAGE/ THE PC READER – they sound like an Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary Ambassador, weighting every word and reading decks that include all the ethnic minorities as well as at least one representative of LGBT population per Suit and all the religious denomination you can think of. They won’t predict, won’t read for pets, won’t read on anything that actually interests you.
If you are honing your skills as an UN negotiator – that’s a reader for you; if you need a Tarot reading – look further.
ESPRESSO – my favorite; brief, straight to the core, with a touch of actual predicting that usually turns out to be accurate; no digressions, no pseudo-Jungian talk, no endless &futile descriptions of the artwork , no technical BS like Saturn in Pisces and Venus here and there and the Moon in the neighborhood.
That’s my kind of reader, albeit, in words of Dan Pelletier , your mileage my vary.
stay tuned for the TAROT READER STRIKES BACK – next read about the most obnoxious and draining types of sitters
Copyright © 2012 Lena Ruth Stefanovic
All Rights Reserved
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moderndayruth 
Fabulous post… You made me laugh even with a throbbing head:) *note to self: work on your reading skills
Thank you so much stardreamer! Your and other firends’ support means the world to me! Healing vibes and much love sent your way!
Just had to laugh, aching shoulder and all. I’ve been learning tarot for many yrs and still learning and not consider myself as a pro of any kind. But you can really see some people in those categories LOL and some of them are telling you that they’ve been at this this and that many yrs, they are psychin/intuitive this and that and been practising one thing or another since some previous life 😉 Thanks for a good laugh today and will continue to follow this 🙂
Too funny.
bhahaha way too funny not to share!! tweeted and shared on +1. BRAVA, Lena! 🙂
Thank you so much, Lisa! Coming from you – this compliment means the world to me!
Oh, no, I’m a blended fruit beverage! Loved the article and seeing myself from someone else’s perspective. Great characterizations. I’ll have to come to you when I want an espresso. (Actually, I’m an iced green tea latte sort of gal – with no sweetener.)
Mary – you are a sheer genius, we all learn from you! Thank you so much for the comment! I am going too faint – if someone told me when i was starting my Tarot journey with your books that one day YOU PERSONALLY will make a comment on something i wrote… I’d never believe such miracle is possible!!! Goodness! Thank you so much!
Love this article! Love Mary’s comment!
I’m a large caramel machiatto with a double-shot of espresso. Sometimes the drink is passed off as a butterscotched Americano with room . . . room for more butterscotch . . . enough of the syrup to need to be stirred and/or spooned to make the eyes light up
Then again, when I do turbo readings I think they are simply a big spoonful of butterscotch caramel heaping on the spoon . . . while the espresso is still being made. LOL
Caramel macchiatto with a double shot of espresso. An iced green tea latte sounds great. Nice combo!
Thank you Jordan! For what i know, you are a double espresso with addition of some steamed milk, its the preferred coffee of Montenegrins! 😉
You’re welcome! 🙂 I’ll sneak in my own caramel then.
You are incredible! I would have to say I appreciate the “Espresso”.
Thank you, dear Judy! I am ‘Espresso’ fan too – both readers whom i consult from time to time – are that type 😉
I loved it ! You´re espresso, organic, hard to find beans, kind of espresso.
Thank you, dearest Roskis! And you are Irish coffee – my favorite! xxxx
Very fun post- and you nailed the groups!
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! 🙂